Wednesday, January 30, 2008

well you knowwhat i figure, this iswhy we try and we stop trying: we have created this image in our headwhat love should be. and we find someone and they remotely resemble whatwe expect we hang on in hope that they wil become our perfect lover andwhen they don't, we dissapoint ourselves and either give up or keep ongoing. or worse,we go looking elsewhere for this image we've created,this belief thats so deeply ingrained and realise too late, thateverything we've been looking for has been right under our nose. its amatter of not dwelling from the past - you learn from it. its about notliving in the future - you live for it. this is some original stuff,from yours truly. haha. so basically - there is no right or wronganswer. you follow you heart, in that moment. dont worry about tomorrowor what happened yesterday. do what feels right at that moment.

okay, so i go out on fri night, im dancing with micky and we're pretending to be boyfriend and girlfriend as people keep hitting on us. and me and micky are being full on corny and pathetic, dancing to slow music and pissing ourselves laughing and acting like teenage lovers. i didn't konw that he was in the club (how could i not know?!) and he doesn't say hello to me. can you believe it? he always, always, always says hello. he will go through the crowd to say hello. not tonight. so i say hello. he's cold and distant. im like jeez. whats up your ass (didnt say this though). look over and he's hooking up with someone. i thought i'd be cut, i thought i'd be jealous. im more like 'so thats how you deal with things?" firstly, i know him. he is not like that. he doesn't hook up with just anybody. this female is at least 36, has dyed blonde hair, wears glasses and has a good 80kg on her. (thank God, if she was hot, i would have died). and plus she had the ugliest phone! i have a really good phone from Go Cell. anyways, im like 'puh-lease', me and nathan start dancing, then that moron starts hooking up with me, i yell at him, but then we both start laughing (im like 'your such a dick, we're meant to be just fucking around! i was trying to save your ass from that girl) and like whatever, we dont care. i thought about himi just left and went outside, fucks me where he was.